good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
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Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
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We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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