I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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