when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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