just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
