does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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