eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
