i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize