i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
