If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
