her vagine was all disorganized.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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