I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My vagina is officially offended.
Randomize
