Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I am available for nakedness
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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