i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
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I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
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They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize