jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I had to cum in my sink.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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