I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
