You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
