so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
