i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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