Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
