The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize