do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
