your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
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If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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