Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
