HIV tests are more positive than that guy
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
