Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
How naked do you want me to be?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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