No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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