we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
