The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
