You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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