thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
