If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
