Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I deserve this hangover.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
