just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
