drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
