I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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