You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
