i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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