I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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