If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
