Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
