dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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