Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
