I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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