Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
