I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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