i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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