would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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