i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
