Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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