Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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