I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
