That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
