kristin has been a bad kristin
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
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Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
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I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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