I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
