Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
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im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
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I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...