Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
