Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
