Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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