Got a toothbrush?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize