he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Apparently you make a good broom.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
