After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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