So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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