Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
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Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
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If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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