the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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