You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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