go do what you do best...puke behind churches
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
