Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.

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(224): View more from Illinois

I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure

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(406): View more from Montana

I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.

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(801): View more from Utah

"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning

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(904): View more from Florida

If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.

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