I only kidnapped one of them. chill
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
my liver is dry heaving
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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