he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
