Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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