Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Come see our sink grown plant.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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