Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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